Wed Apr 18 / Written by: Lewis Menelaws
Are you a fake? Or just insecure?
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When I went to college, I had a teacher that had awards up on his walls for some sort of IBM database development. He taught us how to use different legacy database softwares as well as SQL. I learned a lot from him but when I finished school and it was time to find a job, I found myself having qualifications that weren’t even relevant towards modern day programming. Why was this?
I felt like I possibly maybe just wasn’t qualified for any jobs. Considering that the college I went to was out of town and most places would want to hire in town right? Well that couldn’t be it.
To make ends meet, I did freelancing with the skills that I have developed. Eventually my friends and I started a company that I still work at full-time to this day. As we started to get more clients, their demands started to get a lot bigger. Sure, the pay check was really nice but I started to get insecure. Almost as if, I was pretending to be something I wasn’t.
I had the Imposted Syndrome.
Impostor syndrome (also known as impostor phenomenon, fraud syndrome or the impostor experience) is a concept describing individuals who are marked by an inability to internalize their accomplishments and have a persistent fear of being exposed as a “fraud”.
Being exposed as a fraud is the perfect definition. How can I charge clients or accept pay when I have no idea what I am doing? Am I even considered a professional?
The answer is yes. You are a professional. I asked lots of people even outside of the software community and they thought the same thing. Why is this such a common occurrence with people getting into their industry? Here are a couple of reasons.
Everyone goes through a different journey. Some people need to create a couple of projects in order to really get something while others can just read some documentation and call it a day. Either way, it allows people to get the wrong idea of the scope of a project as well as their own technical ability to just get shit done. As a business-person myself, I sometimes look at these Zuckerberg-Musk type people and think that because I am not working 12 hour days that I am just wasting my time in this industry. Clearly I have lost my mind.
So many different people have different opinions on “success”. What does it even mean? Well that’s for you to decide. Some people think creating an MVP of a product is a success for them and they can drink some beers after and not feel any guilt. Others can just fix a bug and feel the same level of success. This is where you need to determine where your “success” truly is. Stop comparing yourself to others and realize when you work hard for things.
People who suffer from the imposter syndrome are really scared of failure but are also scared of success. Studies show that if you internally struggle with imposted syndrome, you are more likely to self-sabotage by ruining your chances of achievement.
Remember when I brought up my old professors IBM database awards he got in the 90’s?
This is how people deal with imposter syndrome in a rapidly growing industry like the software industry. They stay attached to what was relevant at the time to escape the feeling of constantly learning and realizing that the projects being built are bigger than all of us.
Having the imposter syndrome is healthy. In an industry that keeps evolving and one-upping itself, learning is all we have as developers. That’s why always feeling like we might not know everything or being the complete experts that we strive for make us better developers as well as better people in general. If you keep learning and realize that the imposter syndrome IS JUST the imposter syndrome, you will realize that this industry has lots to offer and that we are constantly being blessed with an outstanding community that only developers will understand.
Maybe that’s what we are being paid for as developers.
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